


This exists for me, first and foremost, just to make that clear

by worddumb



Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: A lot of them are mentioned actually, Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, Not Beta Read, Not Beta Read at all, This Is STUPID, YeahhhHHHHH, all of them are mentioned now, well maybe a litle, who's spelling idk them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 18:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20605400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worddumb/pseuds/worddumb
Summary: Just headcanons, go away. Or read it, I don't know,





	1. CHAT GAME CHAT GAME CHAT GAME

Before we begin, I want you to note- I’m only doing this for myself and myself only. This is basically just incomprehensible babbling of a person, who Can’t Stay On Point. If you’re still here, I salute your dedication to my shitty writing, and assume you’ll be down to talk? Ask questions? Interract? Please talk to me I’m lonely-

So. The Chat Game. How it came to be, why it stuck around(why wouldn’t it, question answered, fuck off with your long introductions) and what are it’s rules? 

It all begun back in season one, the one I know nothing about, yeah, that’s the thing, when Joe was just being Joe and laid foundation for Xisumas inevitable doom. On accident, or so he says. He actually doesn’t say that, but that’s what he rather loudly thinks about. What prompted it? Well, nothing, except coincidentally, X sorta upset Joe a little bit, and what he wrote in that cursed, cursed hot bar was maybe aimed specifically at him in the most vaguely threatening way you can come up with, cause I Give Up. Yeah, the relationships were rough back in the day, because *sparkles*  headcanonsssss !! Yeah, I did just use that font, and I might regret it, but honestly fuck me. (it didn't transfer here:( )

The rules, generally, are hot chaos(and not the type you’d want to fu-*gets killed*) no one can understand, and trust me, they stopped trying long ago. So long ago, in fact, that they just all made their own since day one! Again, started with Joe, who found he rather liked how people reacted to seeing weird cryptic shit first thing in the morning, and made himself a set of limitations to not abuse his new found power too much. Naturally, everyone knew it was Joe, but than they started noticing patterns, and being chronically addicted to gambling(that’s a joke) soon started betting on who could figure those out the fastest, some of them deciding to join in on his fun and throwing people off- mainly for that reason, the bets were brutal, but also because honestly: fun. To figure out who won and who lost, hermits went to the man himself, and he indulged them, because why not? Pretty soon after that, everyone joined in on the fun, the name changing many times a day and patterns becoming barely recognizable, so someone(*cough*xisuma*cough*) came up with  ** official rules ** (the font didn't transfer. i'll cry) . Hardcore, right? Those go, as follows:

-no more, than 10 changes a day is acceptable. 

-no one is to ever change their rules, or tell them deliberately and directly.

-when Xisuma learns a rule, it is no longer usable.

-anyone not following these three is disqualified. no, you’re not getting away with it.

Now, to some rules that aren’t technically official, but the group conscious sorta status-quoed them into existence: 

-if your rule is found out, you have to reward whoever managed to get through your bullshit

-you can trade rule-knowlege, X said nothing about that

-you can add in one single decoy rule. yes, this is a good idea, Joe came up with it. no, there’s no specification on what counts as decoy

-if X takes your rule away, just make a new one! you're not changing anything, it’s free real estate! Have fun!

And that’s about it for that. I think. Ask me stuff, that’s unclear or whatever, pls, I need to work on these and come up with something plausible. Thank.

Now, to some widely known rules and people who know a lot of rules, lets gooooooooooo o 0 0 0 0 (this also didn't transfer here)

Everyone knows Docs rules. They go, as follows: Fuck the rules, I do what I want. When that was first discovered, the brave soul that went to confront him only got a birdie and ‘congrats, you win nothing’ said in a deadpan voice. They than went and got a fortune out of telling everyone else what it was, pissing a lot of people off- not really, they were all friends at that point, but acting angry is- is good. For some reason. Don’t ask me, the author, how Dare-!

False knows  every rule. That may or may not be because she was a bit paranoid upon first joining, and than didn’t want the meme to die, or something. She also regularly makes profit of off it, since she never told people she knows it all. But they know. They’re waiting. And she knows. And plays on their nerves, sometimes, teasing the fact she knows in front of them, trying to go for the hardest one it was to figure out. Sometimes, they indulge her. But the weak soul always breaks-

Xisuma, when it gets unbearable, goes to buy rules of off False, and she, in turn, offers them to him- but only the ones she already revealed to know, after that one slip up that cost her everyone knowing she knows. No one is sure why. X says it’s because she secretly hates him. However, he still knows a lot more people think he does- he got sucked into the chaos along the way, and mayhaps created his own set of rules not even False knows of, because why would he participate? Well, she may know, but that he doesn’t know for sure- (the use of many knows is deliberate and painful even for me)

A lot of hermits have rules, that intertwine, ever since the olden days- or when they first joined the server, not traceable yet and with wise souls to guide them(the hermits don’t tend to use someones new-guy-and-thus-clueless status, that would be rude and not fun at all). A lot of hermits find workarounds for official to rules to make tandems and teams for ruthless X killing. A lot of hermits find workarounds just to piss X off, telling him or abusing their power in any way, shape, or form, including just sharing it for free and chaos factor. In conclusion- a lot of hermits are bastards.

Some hermits barely participate in the chat game, or got disqualified(though X usually let them join back under the promise of not doing that ever again, please, the only exclusion being Python, who went off with a bang and so far, didn’t show much interest in coming back) or just don’t participate at all. There’s only one of these, and that’s TFC. Maybe. No one is fully sure, other than False, but… What she knows is not at all public knowledge. Not at all… And maybe, she doesn’t know as well. Who knows.

ConCorp did make a meek attempt at making money of off the game, but it was nowhere near successful or serious. The chaos was more appealing than ultimatelyuseless money, I guess.

Everyone, at one point or another, tried to figure out if TFC participated. No one, not one soul, actually succeeded. No one talks about it. No one acts about it. No one is sure why.

Keralis didn’t retain his old set of rules, when he joined, and formed a lot of new alliances that way, because he is, indeed, wise, and knows a lot of workarounds. He’s also a bastard, and in this essay, I will-

I’m off to play beat saber, can’t believe I wasted this many words and time on this glorious thing, god I love this thing. TALK TO ME, PLEASE, I’M DESPERATE


	2. I delated tumblr, so I shall headcanon here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sweet, sweet Doc headcanons! No angst! No angst at all! Whatsoever! For real tho, it's miniscule. Ao3 doesn't think that's a word, but I checked, bitch!

So. Doc. We all love Doc, don’t we? Well, I started watching him like, a week ago or so, and I certainly do, so if you don’t- idk, your personal problem or preference, I never know which one- go give it a try. He awoken the beast in me, the one that makes god awful headcanons and gives too much detail to specifically teeth, for some reason. I’m not sure why. God, why do I do that? Oh, oh is this gonna make me learn something about myself? Naahhh

He’s not a creeper, I repeat, He’s Not A Creeper, this is not a drill-

In all honesty, that’s only because I made Python a full on snake, and than was like- wait, what about creepers? are they snakes here?- in short, they are, modeled after green tree viper(limbs addition). Google them, they’re cute and deadly. So, since I didn’t want to make Doc even part snake, I rolled with ‘weird green cyborg man, who looks like he’s frowning heavily all the time, unless he smiles, and than he just looks a bit awkward’

He has shark-like teeth, with shark-like properties. Go google shark teeth, I can’t be bothered.

Have you ever seen Genetically Modified Sceptic? Yeah, that's Docs hairstyle almost to the T. 

His head, as you may know, is split in two. I took it, and rolled with it of off a hill screaming ‘mine!’ on top of my lungs. It’s not just his face (almost motionless, corner of his mouth is in a frown and barely moves, the only moving part of his eye is the eyelid, brows are pretty much set in place), it’s _everything_\- other than his brain, but even than, optic nerve and visual cortex in that part of his headsuffered the fate of being replaced, soooo… At least he sees some neat colors humans can’t! A bit of a problem, since his right eye was never enhanced, so if he takes of that eyepatch, his vision gets a bit cranky and weird, somewhat like badly done 3D, but trickier and a lot more frustrating. Yeah, that weird black thing is an eyepatch, big, no-strings-attached eyepatch, because what am I gonna do with it? That’s right, whatever I want-/This is why it’s embroidered with a light grey string, in a nice floral pattern, because he trusted the wrong person with making it. (it was Cleo, she taught herself to sew for statue making and wanted to play a prank on him, but failed- Doc is very supportive and much bastard, so that sloppy unnamed flower shall remain forever. Cleo cried at the compliments she received. Doc had to comfort her. He didn’t do a very good job, but it’s not everyday you have a sentimental zombie on your hands.(he also might suck at comforting)) 

It does, indeed, mean the inside of his mouth, throat, tongue and that weird hangy thing all humans have are also split, all the way down to his collarbone, where flesh and skin are still alive and well.

Both his legs are bionics, you can’t prove me wrong, fuck off. Yes, I’m rude now. His right hand, if you ever see him sleeveless, has a small bit of mismatched tech as well, a lot sloppier than the rest, with an ugly scar peeking out from beneath it, which insinuates it was to be replaced as well. It isn’t visible often, but when it is, he doesn’t bother to cover it up. Why would he?

None of his limbs look or act human. There’s no muscle strain, there’s no jerks or unsteadiness, there’s no limitation of joints- though they still only bend at human points, they can do so all over the place, full 360 of unlimited bending- anywhere(fingers and toes included), but there are knives built in, and some firearm, and a rocket launcher- he doesn’t have to use fireworks- so that’s always fun! He almost never uses the weapons, though the rest of his cool features is completely utilized- wasn’t always that way, but he came round to it.

About the looks of those limbs- sharper, harder, a bit unproportional- not much and barely noticeable, other than finger/toe length- claws are all the way!- which looks even more out of place, considering his only flesh limb has human, if a bit too hard and brown, blunt nails, no bird-like claw business in sight- and sculpted to look like a lot of slim, pure muscle. In summary, terrifying- especially in the dark, both his eye and those weird, red dots might as well be lanterns. They aren’t too bright, but enough to make his companions(ones that can’t see in the dark) see very, very badly in caves on the lowest brightness setting. He’s a walking lighting source, basically, and one block next to him, mobs can _just_ spawn, rendering that semi-useless, I guess.

He’s literally thick-skinned. His skin is thicker, than human. It’s still very human-like in every other property, so all it does is obscure his veins completely and make body hair appear shorter, as well as making it stand straighter. Otherwise, your usual soft skin, slightly translucent if cut off- yeah, you can cut of quite a bit without reaching blood, not too much, but still- and regenerates much the same as human as well- so, minor stuff like a paper cut(it rarely reaches blood in Doc’s case) disappears fully very fast, you aren’t likely to even notice it. 

Doc is the pinnacle of killing-machine-gone-wrong. Everything about him- appearence, the amount of weaponry he has _literally built in_, his voice, reflexes and most of his closing- torn to shreds after about a day of wearing with all the sharp edges and flexibility this creepy ass dude possesses- screams ‘i’ll murder you in cold blood in under a second, if my master so desires, and won’t feel any remorse’, but it couldn’t be further from truth- he rarely actually hurts anyone, he’s kind almost to a fault, he’s almost always smiling and goofing, he rarely kills anyone- true, he cares not about mobs, but they aren’t even real- and he screamed out ‘fuck the rules, I’m my own man, I do what I want’ once and lived by it since. 

All of the above is exactly why calm and neutral Doc is the most terrifying one. Not angry, not smiling-but-in-a-bad-way, not threatening-you-with-a-trident, not cautious, not any other- neutral and focused. Than, it almost feels like it didn’t go completely wrong. Like your good friend Doc won’t hesitate to use one of his many toys on you. Like he might be an unfeeling, obedient murder weapon he was so clearly designed to be, even if just for a moment. He trained himself to **never**, under any circumstance, stop displaying an emotion- no matter, what that emotion might be. He still slips up sometimes, but most people already know he’s a good egg, so they aren’t scared when they come across a wild Doc, to engrossed in whatever he’s doing to pay attention to any unnecessary muscle movement- even if that whatever is building a very deadly farm, that creeped people out at first.

People who don’t know Doc- aka the new guys- are always, under no exception, scared of him, because he tends to forget saying vaguely threatening things or acting angry/upset is a thing, that only long time hermits can see through. Considering he than feels bad about scaring them (as in, for real, he loves to scare and unsettle his friends, who aren’t ever really too scared or unsettled at anything- they’ve grown immune to his mindfuckery bullshit), and never succeeds at hiding it, and they tend to misinterpret it, and you can predict where that is going- a circle of remorse and fear, growing stronger and stronger, until interrupted. Doc tends to just up and leave to break it, and than call someone who doesn’t suck at communication as much as he does, or to just shut up and hide behind someone- not fully, just sorta putting them as a barrier between himself and whoever he happened to scare. (this is sorta what happened during the war(flag capture thing)- he threatened Grian, Grian got scared, Doc made a few steps back, Wels coming to stand in front of him, Grian realized what happened- he is smart, and a decent actor after all, even if still stupid in his own, mysterious ways- and also hid away in shame. they bonded over that, a little bit)

So, remember the killing-machine-gone-wrong thingy? Yeah, another thing that serves as a mild reminder of that is how he treats authority- authority he self-authorized, but still. Thing is, Doc doesn’t stand up to authority, and he tends to try and please it, whoever he placed in that spot, as much as he can, and tends to do what they tell him without much thought, going as far as to ask for commands- the only thing that makes this a bit less unsettling, is that he himself chooses someone he trusts to fill that role, and doesn’t just put every friend ever on that spot- to everyone, but the authority, he’s still a bastard, and he demotes them as easily, as he promotes. It’s just a thing he does, and a thing he used to hate being even okay with- but, again, he came round. It still feels a bit like it belongs into uncanny valley, but it’s more wholesome than anything, when you think about it.

A little thing worth noting- everyone in this little simulation have attributes they either associated themselves with, or really liked/wished they had- for example, Python grew up with snakes as his parents pets, and wanted to be one for reasons, so here he is, a red noodle- so do with that, what you will _;)_


	3. An excuse to brag about a completely original work in the notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has exactly 1777 words, and I think that's beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have messed up and forgot some things when writing Doc, sorry, it's here now!

A little something I forgot about- Docs ears. His flesh one is completely human, and the other one is not visible, but still exists. Yes, it does mean not only his visual cortex suffered, and it does mean his hearing is enhanced a lot- a bit of a pain (pun intended) for someone who can’t stand loud noise. Luckily, there is a little something called ‘master volume’, and he has that shit turned almost all the way off. During any loud events, he tends to flat out deactivate any sound, that isn’t player noise, and just pretends sound doesn’t exist (it only muffles noises, like you’re deep underwater and far away, doesn’t just… destroy them. still, pretense is fun) 

Oh, and another thing I need to clear up! Remember how I said Doc has taught himself to never stop showing emotion ever? Well, that was a bit of a misunderstanding. The thing is, he’s naturally very expressive- he just convinced himself he wasn’t. It’s kind of like with me and my since-i-was-nine-years-old depression- he came round to Hermitcraft, and was dead set on the idea ‘I’m an unfeeling machine, who just pretends to have emotions to not freak out people around me’- a lot like mine ‘I’m a perfectly normal child, who isn’t depressed, and just tries to convince themselves they are to get attention’. The thought of ‘If I’m unfeeling tho, why do I care about these random peoples feelings that much?’ visited him about as frequently, as ‘Than why do I cry myself to sleep every other night and hate every inch of my existence?’ did me (which is to say- almost fucking never, and would be shut down as ‘wishful thinking’ or ‘a tactic to convince myself that my problems are real/i have problems and thus feel’ pretty quick). Don’t worry, he’s better now, the hermits helped him with that hand-made cocoon of misery, though he had to do a bit of work with that himself first. I’M NOT PROJECTING, YOU’RE PROJECTING! SHUT UP! 

I was torn between Scar and Ren for this one, because they have a lot of similarities- they’re both related to Doc (Ren is his ‘enemy’, hippie and all, and General Angry Eyebrows, or whatever his status is right now, is his boss/current authority), so he made me think of them, they’re both not well thought out in my headcanon realm, and, most importantly, they’re both furries. Yea, that is the most important thing in this fandom of doom and disdain. Fuck tumblr.

So I went with Scar, because I was a copout and just slapped a pre-existing race I stole from elder scrolls and pushed into it’s extremes onto him and called it a day, so now I have an excuse to gush about the thing I made it for in the notes.

I think y'all know about Jellie, his cat? Yeah, I took it, and guess what? *Inhales* MINE!! *rolls of off a cliff* So yeah, he’s a cat now. Deal with it.

Wait, you think: “cat ears and tail, legs max” don’t you? WELL YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW ME! He’s a cat. Human sized, walking on two legs, but still very cat proportioned cat, with very cat like limbs and very much cat anatomy, how’s that for a cat girl? Y'all are weak- (and horny. mostly horny. ‘that one cowgirl boots vine voice’ disgusting.)

Okay, so now that I’m not attacking you, lets go into detail, shall we? His fur is the color of hair on his YouTube avatar, which I hesitate to call brown, for some reason? It’s also almost patternless, with some slightly darker stripes barely visible being all over his body, but mainly on his face, sorta outlining some of it’s features- Angry Eyebrows idea came from there, it almost looks like he has multiple brows, though cats don’t have that- nor do they have any muscle there, so cats don’t have eyebrows at all, which makes it all the more hilarious, in my opinion.

His nose is sorta a dark, carroty color? Idk how to describe that, but it was inspired by my cat, who looks a bit like a cockroach, if that somehow helps. (I have three cats, and not to brag, but I’m their favorite person in the house- other than to sleep on, I never stop moving ever, I’m a shark confirmed)

He has a scar on his nose, and it sorta made some places furless, so that’s sad. It’s also where his name came from, because we’re all unoriginal and projecting is _the healthiest_ coping mechanism.

Have you seen a picture of Maned Woolf? It’s basically if a fox and a deer decided to shag, google that glorious creature (or use youtube, there’s a really good channel, who made a vid about that beauty). Anyways, if Scar were to stand on all fourth, this exactly what he would look like, except, you know, cat. Yeah, it does mean his limbs and body don’t look proportionate, and it does mean he’s like, constantly hunched over, you can’t imagine how long it took to come to that conclusion.

He does wear clothe! Yeah, you know the ones. They were tailored specifically for him by the universe itself (aka the simulation) and are made of some weird, stretchy and soft materials no one is sure exist in the real world. Scar, just like Joe, found a way to farm himself some change- if you die here, your clothe are among the loot, and for the sake of decency you respawn in the exact same thing you died in, except for fixed up, soooo… Yeah, a great way to get some pants for your very not human legs. (and everything else, in Scars case)

He’s fluent in cat, but not for reasons you think- he just observed Jellie and made logical conclusions, and when he talks to other hermits he tends to use human interpretation of cat instead of what everything actually means. Some of them, the closest ones to him, caught on, and also learned cat for pure reason of letting Scar live his best life, and he appreciates it, really.

Okay, so, in my family we’ve got this excuse for not wanting/being able to preform basic human tasks- ‘can’t, I’ve got paws’. Scar is like, the opposite of that- have you _seen_ what that mad lad creates? Have you? Just- god he’s good at making stuff. He can sew!! He can sew with his cat hands!!! Oh for gods sake, holy shit, I’m done, this is it, I’m exiting life with my crippling inability to open cans and water bottles, or freaking hold stuff in my hands for longer than a fucking minute without dropping it/spilling it all over the floor, I fucking hate life-

Another thing Scar can do- tie a lot of knots. Again, I just took some minor stuff- he looks like a cowboy and was a pirate in this season, both those things have something to do with ropes, off the hill we go! So yeah, on top of sewing and making the most glorious stuff ever, he’s also got that going for him, great to know, I’ll just go use the bathroom for a second, the one on the top floor, don’t mind me-

He has pretty good aim, anything you gotta have that for he’s got covered- may have come from the cowboy thing, which all of that I’m realizing in hindsight, because why not.

He relays on his heightened senses too much- the reason he couldn’t find Grian in plain sight during the hide and seek thing is, that guy’s a bastard and can disguise his smell and sound pretty well for reasons I won’t disclose ever or even really think about. So yeah, you can’t hide from Scar- unless you can, than he’s done for.

A thing I have no idea where came from- he’s very preceptive, and can read people pretty well. Again, no idea where that came from, just an unfounded feeling I can’t explain, that hurts my brain when I think about it for too long. So yeah, this one I pulled out of my ass, even if my monkey brain insists it’s The Ultimate Truth. Sorry.

Cats are liquid, and so is Scar- he adapted a lot of cat-like behavior over the years of being one, so he utilises that a lot. All you know about cats applies, I’m honestly not sure why I keep repeating that-

His tail is prehensile, just like a cats! He can move it on his own accord, but like a normal cats, it can and will move around on it’s own, kind of like those tricky skills you aren’t conscious about and tend to call instincts. Yeah, that. It’s also pretty strong, but then again, it’s either the hermits who are inhumanly powerful or the game has a different understanding of weight (which is to say, none at all- the hermits just have a neat feature of feeling stuff that isn’t there more or less at will and chose to not change their original perception of weight upon realizing it, because limitations are fun)

Sometimes, he looses feeling in his legs and breathing hurts. He isn’t bothered tho- it’s not his problem anymore, or anyones for that matter. Yes, he knows what it’s all about, because it would be hard to not connect the dots, and again, he isn’t bothered- not his problem, and never will be. Never was, if he really thinks about it!

He has slight earth magic type thing- can grow vines/speed up growth of pretty much anything and move rocks and dirt around, and you bet your ass he uses it a lot! It’s not a thing he appeared with, but a thing he managed to develop himself, cause he’s badass and honestly, his builds are magic and you can’t convince me otherwise.

A thing about Jellie- she was added to the game mainly because she was the only thing Scar actually remembered, and it wasn’t a mistake on the part of those responsible of his memory in the first place, but his own- he felt warm and nice and sentimental at the word jello and pictures of certain type of cat, so he put it all together and was like ‘give me my cat, please, she’s my only joy in life’ (yes, dramatic, but I mean, that’s what Hermitcraft is- a huge ass drama club) and after a while the developers caved for a lot of reasons, and put her there.The rest is history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so. It all started, when a tall ass bigfoot (black and blue addition) looking motherfucker walked into a bar to meet a smal boi, and than they blew up after their skins brushed against each other- very subtle, Nameless, you're so good at your job- and it revealed the smal boi to be a big cat, who's good at illusion magic and is technically female, but like, cats have no preseption of gender so get fucked. They than proceeded to travel together to find some other explosive people, working through trauma and realizing a lot of stuff about themselves and their new companions in the process, eventually coming to cats' home island and traveling to our world via fairy circle to find the last explosive bitch and acchieve something or other Nameless (who doesn't have a name, but they're a god, so how do their followers even refer to them?) wanted them to, but didn't say, because they suck at being a god and comrehencible in the same time, like gods do- they tend to think we already understand or don't at all, and are either vague as all fuck or conedecending as shit, no in between. And this is basic plot. Very basic. I don't want to be coherent right now.


	4. I have nothing to say, so just have some Keralis headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just hope you have fun with this, cause like, I'm not anymore. Loved writing it, tho, so that should help!

I have a lot of things on my mind but the most important one? Keralis. He’s the most important one. Why, you may ask? Because I’m out here, having to do Gods work, making stuff outside the box, while you peasants watch on with your ‘makeup’ and ‘face masks’ and ‘bug’ and ‘anime girl’ and whatever else pitiful excuse of an explanation you came up with for this mans eyes and mouth. (I’m just kidding, those are all valid & I love you)

His eyes are kind of like an owls! Not completely, but that’s the closest this world has got to what I have in mind. So, they aren’t anywhere near a spheroid- they are closer to that thing, that holds a candle, and interact weirdly with his brains shape. They’re inset in a way they _appear_spheroid, except _that_ sphere would not fit into a head. Which, yeah, means he can’t move his pupil around at all. 

He does have irises, but they’re completely black and barely noticeable, so much so some people still aren’t sure if he actually does, or is just fucking with them, to this very day. If you look closely tho, you’ll see they have some variation! Like ‘dark void black’ and ‘no light underground black’ and ‘the night sky in a world with no Sun’ and don’t forget the ‘ray of hope in a place hope does not exist black’! They also don’t glint in the sun, because blinking is for losers and moisture isn’t necessary, so like, mat eyes? Yes please!

Heshaved heas eyebrows. Why? He dunno. Jk, he never had them in the first place, nor does he have any space between hair and eye to fit something that unnecessary, Baka.

His blood is black. Which means, his lips? Black. His guts? Black. His tongue? Fuck you, the tongue is bright fucking red, no one has any idea why, this is against all laws of nature, wordie, why? Why?? Why??? Fuck you, that’s why-

His skin is actually very, very weird- by all logic, it should be just as black as everything but the fu_cki_**ng ton_gue_**\- but it’s not. It’s just normal, human-looking skin. Well, you can kinda see how dark his veins are, and you get a glimpse at how black the insides with injuries and what not, but still. Logic? On my Good Christian Minecraft server? It’s less likely then you think-

He has a habit of sticking his tongue out, like a lot. It’s literally only ever in his mouth, when he talks, or retrieves it to moisturize, and when he gambles, he tends to bite on it/move it around a lot as kind of a fidget toy, but dangerous- he almost bit it off, once, thus his voice being as it is- and has been more careful(careless, there’s respawn) since. (that happened before his join, and he only has memory of it with the help of basic deduction)

Can you guess the color of his teeth and bones? Come on, all together on the count of three- one, two, three, black! Black and shiny. And not out of bone. As per Iskalls eye expertise. It’s something he, Grian, Zedaph and, weirdly enough, Ren, bonded over. (probs some more, just haven’t thought of them yet) But other than that, they’re just like yours (structure vise)!

He has multiple sets of clothe, and all of them are blue. He doesn’t even _like_ blue that much, it’s just his clothe, nothing else. Why? I thought it was neat.

He doesn't have hypnosis powers, or any other powers, even if it looks like he does- no matter how long you look into those eyes, he won’t have any control of you, even if his behavior suggests otherwise. So don’t worry, kids, Mr. Keralis can’t make you do anything! Unless you pressure yourself into thinking he can, of course, than there’s no going back for you.

While he doesn’t strive to make everyone around himself as red as possible, like a certain someone *ghm,ren,ghm* he is possibly the best at doing so, if he pleases. No shame, charisma and a fair bit of the servers braincells do that to a person. 

If you don’t think he has braincells, think again. See how wrong you are. Recognize his power, and wallow in self-pity, for you could never come close.

Okay, maybe he only has like, two, but that’s still better than some other people on the server, or having a lot and just… Not using them. Which is a thing a surprising amount of Hermits do. They only use braincells for projects, not everyday life, and honestly? That’s big brain time-

His and Bdubses participation in the chat game threw many people for a loop, because they managed to piggyback of off almost every rule ever created by anyone and confused so many, it wasn’t even funny. Well, it was, but there was so much mayhem the laughter was only hysterical. Because they’re both bastards. I don’t make the rules.

Okay, I’m not having a good writing time, so I’ll just- leave it. I may have something to add later, this is a bundle I’m yet to effectively unpack. 


	5. This is, by far, the worst and most incoherent thing I wrote.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst, I say. It wasn't read over ONCE. It's horrid. Run before it kills you.

As requested, I’m explaining everything about my uhhhhhh

AU

I don’t have a name for it yet, and probably never will

Fuck 

Anyways! It’s basically SAO, except very different and with no weird villains/lewd shit, that gets on my nerves. The only thing it has incommon with SAO is the concept of virtual reality. Thatse it. Nothing more, nothing less. No perma-death, no RPG stuff, it’s basically juss Minecraft VR but not cubes and you can’t take the helmet off. 

It all started, when people went ‘any and all weapons are bullshit, and need to be destroyed, violence is always bad lets all hug and never fight again’ which kinda doesn’t work in the real world, with stuff like assholes who just abused the hell of the system for a while, because what’s anyone gonna do? Give them flowers? Yeah.

So everything went to anarchy for a while, before the police and general public were taught how to fight off said assholes, and all would’ve been good, if people weren’t stupid and went ‘prisons bad’ and instead of revamping prisons just straight up destroyed them a few years ago, which did not help with the assholes in the slightest.

So then, the general public is once again reminded of that thing psychologists/therapists use to help their patients, the weird ‘Minecraft’ thing that weird kid in your class played, yep, that’s the thing- a VR set, developed to help people with all sorts of mental conditions. And the public is like “lets put the assholes there and let them do whatever!” and it worked out!

So now, the assholes are contained in VR, right? Well, yeah, but some of them are not happy about it, they’re very salty in fact, and try to break out. The solution? Wipe their memory! Yay! 

So now there’s a bunch of assholes on special servers, who just chill, and a bunch of people on their road to recovery/self exceptance everywhere else, and the former can’t get out/doesn’t know about the latter or the world outside, and everything is narly in the world. 

And than a new mental condition is discovered.

And people go ham, because no one has any idea what to do with people, who have it, they just don’t fit in at all to the point of not feeling completely human, in a way.

I might give you some of the ‘symptoms’ for it I came up with! (only if someone asks, tho, I’d hate to be the only one responsible for that mess inflicting itself upon others)

You can guess where this is going.

Now, to the filming thing! So, all hermits are still YouTubers, just even more full time, so the fandom is pretty different (it’s my wishful thinking, but alas) because they literally live there and film anything of interest, like some moments from game nights, as well as regular episodes. How did it come to be? Well, someone decided to monetize video surveillance that had to exist anyways, so they were unaware of it at first, but around Exses appearance (about a month before) they started to actively break the forth wall, and so it was on.

They have access to single player, the only limitation for them in that regard is not going to other servers, but they found a way around it in that they can invite other players they know of to their single player freely, it’s a lot easier than inviting them to a very secure server, because that breaks the game a bit. 

Most of the hermits that left are either begone (from the fact they couldn’t handle living in VR for whatever reason and expired, or the game broke on them and they expired) or moved to another world permanently. It’s mainly the latter tho, so don’t get too sad.

Now, to some of the more special cases (of how they ended up being a part of Hermitcraft, that is, most of them were just… Diagnosed and shoved into it in one way or another, which I have down for most of them but won’t tell, don’t ask)!

They can be best described as ‘Oh, this is my favorite game! I sure love Minecraft! Wait, what’s this funny message? A Hermitcraft invite? Huh, that wei- sf;;egbirgpqwugpqwtig’ Yeah. They are diagnosed by the system, which takes _ages_, and get sucked in and wiped clean of all memories. That’s what happened to Grian! Which he wasn’t surprised about, because he’s met Mumbo before and thus already knew quite a bit (he did forget that, it was a bit awkward). 

This is horrible and very self indulgent, I’m really sorry, I feel like this is the kinda thing that’d be put in a cringe compilation and I don’t like that, but anything for you, Fireopal!

I’ sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *inhale* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaAAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaa  
And that's all I have to say about this one.


	6. Okay, what if Hermitcraft, but Avatar: the last air bender?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I last watched avatar when I was like, nine, but I still love it with all my heart and remember more of it, then of my life, so here. Have this... poop of mind

Okay, so, my monkey brain refuses to be productive so here’s what kind of bender I think the Hermits would be. I don’t know why, I don’t understand my own reasoning, and I’m pretty sure I’m wrong but fuck that, let me have my fun!

Xisuma: he’d be the avatar, because a) admin powers baby! give him something other Hermits don’t have, which I had to transcribe here somehow and b) slightly inspired by the fact the avatar has to go on a journey to become a better/more powerful person and uhhhh

Yeah

He’d probably start out in the Earth Kingdom, but i digress

Kinda knows how to technology, is the first avatar to do so probably, who knows

Evil Xisuma, yes he’s not a Hermit but honestly who in this fandom cares, always a Hermit in our hearts: Fire bender! I mean, I said X would be born in the Earth Kingdom, never said he’d be born in an earth bending family. Very salty about having an avatar brother, is the forgotten child and wanted revenge, but he came round! Still threatens to kill X every turn he gets, but eh, whatever, that can be forgiven

Mumbo: a non-bender, who figured out how to technology. Is thus the coolest here.

Doc: an earth/metal bender, who also figured out how to technology and became the creepy cyborg man we all know and love. Also, he’s blind because fuck you,

Tango: a fire bender, can also bend lightning, figured out how to technology but it’s less impressive because the fire nation kinda had the industrial revolution happen ages ago, what is impressive is how he decided he does not want to learn how to explode his fire so he made a lot of types of TNT. He’s a deadly boi!

Impulse: an earth bender, but uses it so little for some reason he might as well be a non-bender. Also knows how to technology. Are you sensing a pattern here? I’m sensing a pattern here.

Zed: an air bender, clueless about how to technology. No one knows where he came from, because I’m ignoring the Legend of Kora (Korra?) out of sheer principle. It could’ve been good! They could’ve explored so much stuff!! But it got boring and super westernized, it’s kinda sad- the relationships got even me, a confused aroace, banging my head on the door and screaming ‘that’s not how it’s done!!’ Okay, rant over, Zed is pretty cool and everyone loves him, and you should to!

Stress: a water bender (surprise!) who prefers ice, thank you very much, and can control crazy quantities of hard water at once. Probably could blood bend if she tried, but she never did, so we will never know. She’s also kinda bad at healing and better at combat, then she gives herself credit for, even if she does refuse to bend just water, water that is all flow-y and shit, only ice in this good christian household!

Cleo: on topic of blood bending! Here’s Cleo! She’s not that powerful of a water bender, but can bend blood very well for some reason. She suspects it’s her lineage’s fault. Got snatched by the gang, when she was innocently teaching how healing works in some water tribe school-thing, had insanely cool scars even before that, no one knows where she’s from including her and she has a weird connection to the spirit world. She’s fun!

Joe: a non-bender, but is honestly more dangerous then anyone in this friend group because sticks and stones may brake your bones, but words will straight up murder you on the spot in cold blood. In short, he’s a poet, and he uses his powers for good, mostly. No one knows where he came from too. No one is entirely sure he isn’t lying about being a non-bender, tho why would he and what would he bend? No one knows.

False: I’m not sure, earth probably? Also, probably the only one with proper combat training, the rest just sorta… Got there somehow

Jevin: a water bender who thrives of off chaos. Can’t blood bend, but has a cool ‘look ma, no hands!’ feature, which means he has water-hands. Or arms. But he’s really good at giving water shape, so they look pretty accurate! Stress, however, refuses to understand why he won’t just make himself hands, like the guards of Basingse have, but out of ice. 

Grian: another air bender with memory problems! Where they come from, I have no idea~ But still, he’s pretty good, if slightly squeamish and probably too light on his feet and too good at avoiding/dodging! Yeah

Keralis: you know that third-eye guy with explosions? Yeah, how Keralis got that power not even he himself knows. He guesses that’s just luck! And some dark secrets. But mainly luck!

Bdubs: a non-bender. If horses existed in the avatar universe, would be a horse girl. His mind works in mysterious ways, making him a bit of a hazard to society, but that’s cool!

Scar: earth, obviously! Look at that guy! Just look at him! Look at what he does! Stunning. Also, has no legs because I said so. Also, metal bending is less his thing, but he’s still pretty good at it!

Cub: a water bender, probably, or a non-bender, I’m not sure, but he sure does know how to technology! Probably a water bender. Bending water helps with making cakes. Don’t question me!

Ren: either a funky fire bender or a non-bender, I know as much as you do. He’s just fun, okay? Was probably a part of a circus at one point, but who knows- nobody. Nobody knows. Backstories are hard, okay?

Python: an earth bender, 100% was a part of a circus, or a farm, whichever, is soft tho and can’t fight at all, he’s just a sweet lil guy who does amazing things with his earth/metal bending skill

TFC: an old, quiet fire bender who spends most of his time in a cave, what’s his deal and did we make him up? No idea

Iskall: a water bender, a life of the party, an amazing guy all around- was probably a merchant or something, he’s lucky he lives after Aang because he would go bankrupt, that was not a good time for traveling merchants


End file.
